apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
