I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
