You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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