Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
