apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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