so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
