I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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