I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize