puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize