Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
And then he peed in my hair
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
