i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize