I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Damn victory sex feels great
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
