the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize