oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
