I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
