Already got asked if we're dating
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
