He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Randomize
