Where did you get a picture of my penis
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize