do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
