You're a womanizer and a bitch.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize