the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
