These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
