I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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