One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
