I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
