well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
