Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
this will be a night to untag.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
