what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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