Where are you?
In a non slutty way
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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