Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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