Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
