What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
