She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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