Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
