Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
