we're blogging at a bar
You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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