it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
not ubering you a puppy
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
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