saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
