wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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