Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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