Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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