they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize
