And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Hippo gnu deer
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
