i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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