hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Randomize
