I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
