Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
