Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
