with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
