Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
