I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
