you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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