Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
