I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
