And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
