She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
