They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
