Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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