Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I have already put on my inside pants.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
