another moral hangover. fuck.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
