epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
