If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Randomize
