Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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