Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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