haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
