so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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