If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
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