He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
