I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
